A Carnival  of  Sports 


Verend  Minster 


BUSHING  COMPANY 


hdsf 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 
in  2016 


https://archive.org/details/carnivalofsportsOOmins 


A Carnival  of  Sports 


AN  ENTERTAINMENT 


REPRESENTING  SUCH  POPULAR  SPORTS  AS 

Tennis,  Archery, 

Base-Ball,  Boxing, 

Foot-Ball,  etc. 


By 


Verend  Minster 


Philadelphia 

The  Penn  Publishing  Company 
1900 


Copyright  1894  by  The  Penn  Publishing  Company 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 

BY  VEREND  MINSTER 


King  Carnival,  seated  on  his  decorated  throne,  in  colors  suitable  for  a 
gala-day,  at  the  right  of  the  stage,  and  holding  a silver  trumpet  and  wand, 
calls  for  his  subjects,  who  represent  the  various  popular  sports  in  turn. 
They  advance  to  the  sound  of  music,  as  summoned,  bearing  the  imple- 
ments of  their  respective  games,  first  bowing  low  in  obeisance  to  tbeir 
monarch,  and  then  advancing  to  the  front  of  the  stage  and  taking  suit- 
able positions  for  speaking.  After  delivering  their  messages  they  retire 
in  a similar  manner,  after  making  homage  to  their  king- 


King  Carnival.— 

f N palmy  days  of  old,  when  Greece  and  Rome  held 
I sway, 

Athletic,  manly  sports  engaged  man’s  time  and  thought. 
'The  great  Olympic  games,  the  coliseum  at  Rome, 

Grand  trials  of  speed  and  strength  were  what  men 
talked  about. 

Men  feared  not  to  shed  blood  ; men  flinched  not  when 
attacked ; 

For  pride  in  self-control  and  strength  of  frame  ran 
high. 

A gentler  age  holds  sway,  and  men  refrain  from  scenes 
Of  cruelty  and  rage.  But  still  men  throng  to  see 
A race  of  trotting  stock,  a soldiers’  grand  parade, 

A day  of  sports  where  men  engage  in  trials  of  skill. 
Such,  here,  is  our  attempt.  We  do  not  advertise 
A show  professional.  We  only  bring  to  you 
& few  familiar  sports  as  we  can  show  them  here. 

Ifhe  game  of  tennis  first  we  beg  to  introduce. 


21 


22 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 


Tennis. 

[ Enter  four  with  tennis  costume , balk , and  racket .] 

Spokesman . — 

In  playing  games,  so  many  ways  the  world  has  found 
employment 

That  none  are  sought  for  in  these  days  that  don’t  afford 
enjoyment. 

Indeed,  some  games  there  are  in  vogue  that  life  and 
comfort  menace  ; 

But  naught  like  this  can  e’er  be  charged  on  innocent 
lawn-tennis. 

Some  men  who  guard  their  daughters  well  and  closely 
watch  their  sporting, 

Appear  to  have  a secret  fear  of  anything  like  courting . 

But  when  they  find  that  neither  law  nor  love  controls 
this  sport, 

They  let  them  have  a racket  light  and  enter  tennis  court. 

And  mothers  fond,  whose  sons,  turned  loose,  are  apt  to 
make  them  nervous, 

Have  no  complaint  if  they  acquaint  themselves  with 
this  neat  service . 

A miser,  e’en,  whose  care  for  all  is  scrupulously  nice, 

Cannot  restrain  his  scheming  brain  from  this  glad  enter* 
prise. 

fie  hears  it  talked  of,  calls  his  son,  and  bids  him  straight- 
way learn 

The  rules  and  regulations  here  for  making  a return . 

And  maidens  shy,  who  would  not  try  to  make  a single 
rap 

If  at  the  end  they  thought  ’twould  send  their  feet  into  a 
trap, 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 


23 


(For  should  a man  propose  a bau  'twould  set  them  in  a 
rage) 

Behold  the  net , and  never  fret,  but  in  the  sport  engage. 

The  game  is  safe,  it  will  not  chafe  a player's  nerves 
though  weak, 

And  one  who  tires  finds  exercise  of  which  all  highly 
speak. 

All  four,  forcibly. — 

Yes,  tennis  is  the  game  for  me. 

And  tennis  suits  us  all, 

For  what  will  lend  us  fresher  glee 
Than  racket,  net,  and  ball  ? 

[Exeunt.] 


Archery. 


King.— 

There  is  a sport  called  Archery, 

Of  course,  you  all  must  know 
'Tis  popular  with  ladies,  too, 

Each  belle  must  have  a bow. 

And  while  in  shooting  Cupid's  dart3 
They  get  things  strangely  mixed, 

There's  many  a youth  whom  bright  eyes  pierce 
And  leave  his  soul  transfixed. 


[ Enter  young  lady  archer  with  how  and  arrows . Speaks  :] 
But  when  a lady  tries  to  shoot 
The  arrow  made  of  wood 
She  draws  her  bow 
At  arm’s  length  so, 

[Illustrating  by  a side  presentation.] 

And  finds  that  it  is  good. 

At  first  she  shakes,  such  pains  she  takes, 


U.  OF  HLL  US. 


24 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 


But  when  she’s  learned  the  game 
The  arrow  sings,  the  target  rings. 

So  certain  is  her  aim. 

The  game  is  sure  to  fascinate, 

For,  gayly  as  a lark, 

The  bow  is  bent,  and  she  has  sent 
The  arrow  to  its  mark. 

Enter  small  boy . Speaks : 

The  small  boys  have  to  try  this  sport — 

(The  way  the  Indians  shot), 

And  grown-up  boys  the  arrow  poise, 

For  they  forget  it  not. 

[Exeunt] 

Base-Ball. 

King  Carnival  (rising). — 

Our  national  game 
I rise  to  proclaim. 

[ Enter  two,  representing  base-ball  pitcher  in  uniform,  an d 
catcher  with  gloves,  mask,  and  shield.  ] 

K.  C ( continuing ). — 

From  musty  old  histories,  laid  up  in  drawers, 

We  read  of  artillery  used  in  the  wars. 

But  none  of  that  kind  appears  here  on  the  slate, 

For  that  sort  of  nonsense  is  quite  out  of  date. 

Catcher. — 

Cause  why  ? cause  without  any  censure  or  flattery 
Base-ball  has  developed  a much  improved  battery . 

The  batter,  you  know,  is  the  man  at  the  bat, 

The  catcher  he  wears  a wire  cage  for  a hat, 

And  a breast-plate  of  leather  to  ward  off  foul  tips, 

(He  needs  a cold  stove-lid  to  cover  his  lips !) 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 


25 


The  pitcher  and  catcher  have  turns  at  the  bat, 

But  they  do  their  best  work  when  out , for  all  that. 

Pitcher . — 

The  man  with  the  mask  on  receives  the  hard  knocks, 
But  the  brain-work  is  done  by  the  man  in  the  box . 

He  studies  the  batsman  and  marks  where  he  swerves, 
And  then  he  delivers  his  most  puzzling  curves. 

He  bulldozes  runners  by  feinting  to  throw, 

And  heads  off  the  reckless  who  venture  to  go. 

He  scoops  in  the  hot  ones , embraces  the  pops, 

And  even  the  grounder  he  frequently  stops. 

He  gets  them  to  second , and  swift  as  a bird 
He  heads  off  a runner  just  coming  from  third. 

He  often  retires  them  in  “ one,  two,  and  three,” 

And  steps  to  the  bat  with  remarkable  glee. 

The  papers  next  day  sound  his  praises  aloud 
And  say  he  played  ball  more  than  all  of  his  crowd. 
While  as  for  the  slugger  who  lent  him  support 
They  say  that  his  movements  afforded  much  sport. 

They  tell  that  with  credit  the  ash  he  did  wield 
And  pasted  the  leather  all  over  the  field. 

Indeed,  ere  the  playing  had  hardly  begun 
He  sent  a slcy-scraper  and  bagged  a home  run. 

They  criticise  sharply,  and  tell  of  passed  balls 
(Turned  loose  by  the  umpire’s  irregular  calls). 

But  talk  as  you  choose  to,  the  truth  you  can’t  shirk, 
The  battery  did  all  the  liveliest  work. 

[. Exeunt .] 

Table  Games. 

[At  this  point  King  Carnival  from  his  throne  at  one  end 
of  platform  points  to  two  couples  seated  opposite,  playing 
respectively  tiddle-demwinks  and  chess , saying  ,*j 


26 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 


Our  spooniest  lovers,  as  every  one  thinks, 

Are  over  there  playing  at  tiddle-de- winks, 

While  as  for  the  others,  indeed,  you  would  guess 
By  their  scowls  and  their  silence  they’re  playing  at 
chess. 

[ Enter  two  feather-weights  wearing  boxing-gloves  and 
ready  for  practice .] 

Boxing. 

K.  C.  continues  — 

The  human  frame  has  wondrous  traits, 

The  mind  has  wondrous  notions, 

The  muscles  and  the  sinews  aid 
In  making  wondrous  motions. 

Just  take  two  lads  of  even  build 
And  let  them  go  to  sparring, 

There’s  not  a nerve  in  either  frame 
But  that  secures  a jarring. 

When  two  engage  in  clashing  arms. 

Or  even  smashing  faces, 

The  looker-on  perceives  the  game 
A deal  of  sport  embraces. 

[The  two  square  off  and  one  of  them  addresses  the  other, 
suiting  the  action  here  and  there  to  the  word . ] 

Come  on,  you’re  challenged  to  engage, 

And  I have  never  met  two 
Who  couldn’t  fill  a fair-sized  stage 
In  one  good  lively  set- to. 

Come  up!  don’t  stand  there  leaning  back, 

For  fear  you’ll  get  your  head  hit, 

I never  made  a strong  attack, 

Excepting  when  I led  it. 


A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 


27 


Take  this — and  that — with  compliments — 

And  here’s  another  coming, 

You’ll  have  to  make  a sharp  defense 
To  keep  this  business  humming. 

[ The  contestants  rain  blows  one  upon  the  other  for  a feus 
moments  and  then  retire .] 

Foot-Ball. 

[The  foot-ball  representatives , a boy  and  a girl , enter  un- 
announced and  take  positions  well  to  the  front  of  stage 
in  position  for  conversation , in  which  the  girl  leads. J 

Girl. — 

When  fellows  want  a lively  time, 

A scuffle  free  for  all, 

They  like  to  rush  around  and  kick 
Each  other  like  a ball. 

Of  course  there  has  to  be  a ball , 

And  foot-ball  is  the  game, 

But  then  it  means  to  one  and  all 
A scuffle  just  the  same. 

The  fellows  never  quite  intend 
To  break  each  other’s  bones, 

But  then  the  game  is  sure  to  end 
With  bruises,  limps,  and  groans* 

Lad. — 

Well,  where’s  the  fun  if  boys  can’t  rush 
And  try  their  strength  of  limb  ? 

I hate  to  hear  such  silly  gush, 

’Tis  too  much  like  a hymn. 

These  girls  can’t  understand  a game 
Unless  ’tis  hide-and-seek 


28  A CARNIVAL  OF  SPORTS 

Or  playing  dolls,  or  pussy-cat, 

Or  something  quite  as  meek. 

For  lively  from  a good  hard  run, 

With  kickers  tearing  round, 

Will  make  one  feel  his  strength  of  heel 
Before  the  goal  is  found. 

For  twenty  lads  or  more  to  kick 
Together  at  a ball  * 

May  quite  confuse  or  somewhat  bruise 
Each  other  now — that’s  all. 

[Exeunt.] 


Croquet. 

\_Enter  troupe  of  four  or  six  girls .] 

First  Girl. — 

The  men  claim  authority  over  the  courts, 

And  boys  will  monopolize  most  of  the  sports. 

They  do  the  prize-rowing,  they  manage  base-ball, 
They  handle  the  cricket,  and  try  to  run  all. 

But  while  many  times  they  secure  their  own  way, 
They  have  to  stand  back  when  it  comes  to  croquet. 
Sometimes  we  allow  them  a mallet  and  ball, 

And  rarely  a champion  over  us  all. 

But  out  on  the  lawn  we  can  claim  equal  right 
And  settle  our  merit  according  to  might. 

From  start  until  finish,  with  players  well  matched, 
The  game  has  a charm  that  is  closely  attached. 

So  long  as  one  ball  is  kept  back  from  the  end 
Uncertainty  will  its  encouragement  lend, 

To  those  who,  though  seeming  behind  in  the  race, 
Keep  hoping  at  last  to  secure  the  first  place. 


4 carnival  of  sports 


29 


Second  Girl.— 

’Tis  fun  when  a player  has  rather  loose  nerves, 

To  say,  “ You  can’t  hit,”  and  mark  where  his  ball  swerves. 
Or  when  one,  with  quite  over-confident  air 
In  playing  makes  blunders,  the  way  he  will  stare 
As  others  creep  past  him,  is  apt  to  amuse 
If  he  is  the  victim  of  some  clever  ruse. 

Tis  sport  for  just  two  in  the  game  to  enlist, 

You’ve  tried  it.  Ah ! no?  Then  enjoyment  you’ve  missed 
Quick  played,  quick  decided,  unless  some  gross  flaw 
In  the  lawn  should  delay,  and  the  time  longer  draw. 
But  sides,  playing  sides,  is  what  most  we  enjoy 
When  each  side  consists  of  a girl  and  a boy. 

To  hinder  each  other — the  two  sides,  you  know, 

Is  what  we  attempt,  and  our  progress  is  slow 
Till  one  becomes  rover,  and  gets  in  the  way 
Of  his  partner,  who  on  him  continues  to  play 
And  quick  to  its  close  brings  the  standing  suspense 
(A  game  where  the  novice  “ can’t  see  any  sense  ”). 

Third  Girl. — 

Sometimes  a sharp  player  his  chief  object  makes 
To  play  on  opponents  and  get  to  the  stakes, 

While  even  his  partner  may  linger  behind 
Till  he  has  attained  the  desire  of  his  mind. 

He  hopes  to  play  rover  and  thus  turn  about, 

But  sometimes  opponents  will  just  put  him  out , 

Combine  against  his  partner  and  thus  win  the  game, 
For  which  he  is  brought  to  retributive  shame. 

Fourth  Girl . — 

Sometimes  there’s  a booby — can’t  pass  the  first  wire, 
And  when  he  returns  for  a “ steadier  fire,” 


30 


Jl  carnival  of  sports 


Another,  in  mischief,  will  knock  him  about 
Until  from  position  he’s  constantly  out. 

It  takes  a long  time  for  some  players  to  learn 
The  folly  of  playing  when  out  of  their  turn. 

The  rest  get  ahead,  and,  though  loud  he  may  scoff, 

One  gets  on  a whitewash  he  cannot  rub  off. 

All  in  concert . — 

You  may  hammer  and  hammer  to  make  us  learn  books, 
But  here  we  do  hammering  “ on  our  own  hooks.” 

There  are  numerous  games  we  enjoy  much  to  play, 

But  for  out-of-door  practice,  oh ! give  us  croquet. 

[. Exeunt  all  but  King  Carnival,  who  rises  and  calls  :] 
Come,  gather  ye,  good  players  all, 

Once  more  before  my  throne. 

King  Carnival  delights  to  see 
True  subjects  of  his  own. 

[All  troop  in  to  music,  bow  low  three  times  before  the 
throne,  then  retire  backward  from  the  stage,  re-enter, 
and  curtain  falls  as  they  bow  in  homage.  In  each  of 
the  exercises  it  is  desirable  that  suitable  costumes  be 
worn,  and  each  representative  of  the  several  sports 
should  be  equipped  with  the  proper  implement.  A gym- 
nastic drill  at  the  close  by  four  tennis,  two  base-ball, 
and  four  croquet  players  with  racquets , bats,  and  mal- 
lets can  be  arranged .] 


